More

OK...this is harder than I thought. My SO (significant other, used because I have no idea what to call him at the moment) has been involved with another woman (OW, for future reference) for over 2 years now. In my pursuit to find the cause of this cheating and trying to figure out how to repair our relationship - I came across a wonderful website and book called Divorce Busting Divorce Busting Community .

In my adventures there, I met a lot of fantastic people who are going through a really shitty time in their lives. I also learned a lot about how relationships (R's) work, don't work, communication, etc. I haven't decided whether I will link my threads from there to here or not...anyway, a lot of the jargon I have grown used to using was learned there.

Over the years I have noticed some personality issues with SO. I'm noting this because he has recently stated to me that "what is wrong with him" has a name...Borderline Personality Disorder.

I, however, am no psychologist and am in no way qualified to make the necessary assessments that would determine whether he is suffering from an actual mental disorder or not. But whatever it is that he is suffering from, whether it be BPD, mid-life crisis, or just a plain old lying cheating bastard, I need to figure out where to go from here.

We have three little girls whose futures have yet to be written. I need to do what is best for them and for myself...if SO really is suffering from some form of a personality disorder, I need to learn all that I can so as to be able to effectively deal with him...seemingly for the rest of my life - as we share the parentage of our children and I don't think he will just go away.

So, here I am. This journal may be wacky to some out there. I have no idea where I am going to go with it, or how my thoughts will come out on "paper". But I do want to try and get our history down first; as well as the criterion for BPD because I think a lot of it was present from the very beginning of our R, whether I chose to see it or not.

And a warning, I am not a very proficient writer, I tend to be way too wordy, lol. I also put in every little thing - not sure if it's meaningful or not. But anyone who has the patience to read through this, God love ya! :)