I'm such a bad poster, lol. Some days I have a lot to say, then days or weeks go by when I can't be bothered.

I guess I still haven't learned the trick to true & complete detachment. Ah, well.

SO claimed again that he was seeing a counselor. I did finally look at his insurance claims and there are none for anything other than his hospitals stays. I suppose I didn't really expect that he was telling the truth, although it would have been nice.

He's still corresponding with the ex from years ago....also still trying to keep things going on with current OW, although she seems to be about done with him. As for me, well, some days he's hot, some days cold.

This past weekend the kids were at his mothers. I went out with friends Friday night and didn't come home. That pissed him off. {Shrug}. Saturday night he had asked me to help him with one of his gigs, so I did. It was OK, we got along fine, even going out to a couple of bars afterwards - although they were here in our town (as opposed to somewhere where any"one" would see us.). He had been asking me to stay in his room with him. Sunday was a really, really nice morning. We woke to no kids, quiet. Stayed in bed, messed around, until the early afternoon. When I left to go pick up the kids, I thought to myself that if we had only had more nights/days like Saturday/Sunday, it may have made a big difference in our relationship. We didn't do that often enough. Just "be" with each other. That makes me sad.

I don't know where I am today. I'm once again going through the cycle of debating staying vs. leaving. I wonder when I'll make a definitive choice.